On Korean culture: How to find an Oppa

I have a confession to make. I've been trying to find myself an oppa (Oh-Pah-오빠) for the past year, despite not knowing exactly what it entails. You've probably heard the term in that crazy popular song...you know, this song. 

Why do I want one? I blame the K-dramas that I've watched. These Korean soap operas tend to have similar set ups:

We open on a girl, not the prettiest in the world, but she's cute. She's just woken up, and her alarm didn't go off because she forgot to set it. What a klutz! Then, when she arrives to school, she races through the hallways and crashes into the boy. The boy is suave and well groomed. He's the son of some sort of hotel tycoon (like the board game!), and he's a brat. Over several hour long episodes these two get closer and closer and he begins to walk with her to school, protect her from bullies, and pick at her like an older brother. He's successfully become her Oppa.

what a nice oppa!

Now, by traditional definitions, oppa is the term that younger sisters use to refer to their older brothers. However, lately the term is used to refer to any older, caring man in a woman's life. This includes her crush, her best friend, her actual brother, her brother's friends, etc. In fact, it's become so convoluted that Eat Your Kimchi did a sketch on it.

Most of the girls that use the term oppa in regular conversation are of a similar disposition. They're flowery, bubbly, puffy-cheeked women who successfully look like/are high school girls. Their hair is pigtailed and curled at the end, their eyes are big and doe-like. These girls have wrote the book on how to look young and adorable.

Additionally, when women actually say the word oppa, it's with this distinct, whiny voice that seems out of place for anyone over the age of 7. It's also accompanied by some sort of request or demand. For example: "Oppa~~~ buy me an ice cream!" "Oppa~~~ I want that designer purse!" "Oppa~~~ carry me!". And it works! 99% of the time (numbers!) these girls get exactly what they want from this guy.

Interested? I was curious to say the least. How exactly does one go about finding this oppa character? In school, I've already acquired several Noonas (the femal equivalent of an oppa for all intents and purposes). Yet, I haven't been in a situation yet that would make an oppa relationship possible. I have a few foreign males who I use the term on, despite their protests, but no one that takes on the caring responsibilities that really defines what an oppa is. 

So while I can't really help you find an oppa, I can tell you what not to do.

You shouldn't:

1. Wear pigtails out in public. Not everything transcends language boundaries, and being a 6 foot black woman with pigtails just doesn't work.
2. Use an aeygo (eh-yeg-gyo-which means cute) voice. Again, not everything translates. Speaking already broken Korean in an insanely high crackly voice is NOT CUTE.
3. Stalk potentials. This should be pretty self-explanatory.
4. Wear school girl-like outfits. I received tons of compliments when I did, but I'm still going to advise against it purely on the grounds that grown women should not wear short skirts.
5. Don't stalk potentials. Again.
6. Definitely don't repeatedly mention the phrase "you're like a brother to me" in an attempt to elicit the response "oh, like an oppa!".
7. Do not imitate the way the Korean girls say the word oppa while they can still hear you. Not that I've done it, I just feel like it would be awkward. 
8. Don't ask your Korean teachers for help. They'll be amused at your optimism, but that's about it.
9. Again, don't stalk potentials.
10. Lastly, try not to make intense eye contact with every oppa-looking boy that passes your way. You're gonna scare someone.

the original oppa

I wish I could be of more help. Hopefully this will at least familiarize everyone with the term oppa. Feel free to use this term in everyday conversations or with loved ones. Not everyone will understand, but it's the thought that counts, right? 

xoxo

Imani