On visiting home; or, the most confusing thing you'll ever do.

I'm not even going to pretend to excuse the absence of blog posts for the last several months, it would be insulting to both you, the reader, and myself. What I will say is "I Love You~ Chuuu~~"  "Sorry".

I just returned from my summer vacation in America this past Sunday. I'm finally able to see clearly again (after having a contact lens suctioned to my eyeball during the 14 hour airplane ride, yes it was very stupid of me to wear one MOM) and I feel like unloading a bunch of feelings that have sprung up as result of leaving Korea, arriving in America, and returning to Korea.

1. Pre-departure. I have GOT to get out of this country. Look at that ajumma, staring at me. YEAH I'M NOT KOREAN OLD LADY. Oh GREAT another guy spitting on the sidewalk, just lovely. Really lady, you work at a doctor's office, how do you not speak a lick of English? I guess I'll just get medicated for whatever you feel like today. UGH kimchi jiggae again for lunch? Can't I just get a sandwich?? With some honey dijon? Maybe some pretzels on the side with some not too expensive fruit? This is all usually followed by the phrase, "When I get to America, I'll/I won't have to/there will be/ there won't be any..." As you pack your bags, giggly with both frustration and delight, the 24 hour journey you are about to take seems like a breeze.
2. Arrival. So you made it to America! Home of the Free and Land of the Brave! Hotdogs and cheesy tots for everyone! Stepping off this plane and into the bright new- "Hey! lady! hurry up in the line!" Who? Me? Oh right. Everyone speaks English here. I get no grace period for figuring out how anything works because I speak English, too. Also, why is everyone so loud? Did this airport lady just roll her eyes at me? rude! AH! What's that smell? Omgggg. It's heavenly! A pulled pork BBQ restaurant in the middle of this Dallas airport. Let's eat it all! (20 minutes later) Oh.I don't think my stomach is use to all this rich food. I need some rice ASAP. Oh boy. After a while you'll get to do all the shopping that you wanted to do for the last 12 months. Shoes! Jackets! Shoes again! Never mind that you should be sleeping, and that you've been talking non-stop out of pure excitement/jet lag. Soon it will all seem like an awesome Benadryl induced dream, one that unfortunately has to come to an end. But first a few annoying "In Korea we..." statements.
3. Return. First of all, why am I sobbing?! This is way harder than my initial departure from America for some reason. Maybe it's because the time was so short I didn't get to experience many of the bad parts about living at home. Like the higher costs for just about everything, the violence, the lack of travel opportunities widely available. For a brief moment in time, everything was perfect! Also, I'm exhausted. This is...odd. I wasn't this tired when I traveled to America. So what now? I was convinced I was done with this country, and then I've had a taste of home life again (not much changed there). I thought this trip was suppose to solve every riddle I had twisted up in my head about what I wanted to accomplish in my life. Another year in Korea would be bogus, right? RIGHT? 

So, there you have it. The three stages of what I'd call manic-depressive like symptoms regarding a trip back to your home country after an extended stay abroad. Did I learn anything conclusive? No. Do I have any solid plans about the next step? Not at all. Did I score some pretty sweet shoes? Heck yeah!

With love and respect (fist bump)

Imani